Many times in relationships, all we need to do is listen, empathize and be there for others when they share their struggles with us directly or when we see them going through difficulties that they haven’t even told us about. Yet, what do we try to do? We try to fix things in other people. Guys are especially fond of this!
I think I was addicted to this bad habit. I would try to fix my siblings and have them do things the way I was sure was the right way. My motive was simple: I really cared for them. I honestly believed that I was being loving and caring when I did this. I didn’t want them to make mistakes that would hurt them. When they didn’t listen to me, I withdrew my support in an attempt to try to force them to accept my help. Help, which of course, I was genuinely convinced was good for them. And you know what, as a matter of fact, my ideas were usually right. But my approach was horrible!
It led to significant conflict in a lot of my personal relationships with friends and family. At last, I learned a very important lesson. Trying to fix people is very controlling. It’s a type of naive, well-intentioned dictatorship that seeks to control the lives of others. Every time I did this, other people perceived me as intolerant and controlling. As such, they would put their foot down and resist any attempt to fix them. Conflict inevitably ensued.
People want to be listened to and empathized with. That’s it.
Many people with problems are aware of their weaknesses. They are either simply not ready for change or don’t know how to change. Yet, they want to figure things out themselves and have the pleasure of solving their own problems by themselves.
Here is one thing you can do that is guaranteed to improve your relationships: Stop trying to fix things in the other people! Simply love them. Be there. Listen. Empathize.
Watch this video:
Have you experience this kind of control from others? Have you been a perpetrator yourself?
Share your experience below.