A lot of people don’t want to forgive because they don’t understand what forgiveness really is. Forgiveness isn’t easy, however it is much easier than we all think. There is a lot of misunderstanding around forgiveness from well meaning people.

Why Some People Don’t Want to Forgive

Here is how a popular speaker says about it forgiveness:

“What forgiveness is not.

Forgiveness does not mean the instant restoration of trust. Forgiveness is instant. Trust must be rebuilt over time. Forgiveness is based on grace. Trust is built on works. You earn trust. You don’t earn forgiveness.

A lot of people don’t want to forgive, because they think if they forgive people, then they’ve got to trust them again. No. That’s a whole different issue! Let me say it again: Forgiving someone does not mean you have to trust that person. It means that person has to earn the trust.

If people are in a relationship and one person is dealing with drugs or alcohol or abuse or whatever, they may ask, “Will you forgive me?” Yes, you will forgive them. “Can we go back to the way it was?” No. That’s not at all what we do.

Forgiveness and a restoration of a relationship are two different things. Forgiveness is only your part, whether they respond or not, whether they ask for it or not, whether they even recognize they need it or not. You forgive for your sake. Restoration of a relationship takes far more than forgiveness. It takes repentance. It takes restitution and a rebuilding of trust. And it often takes much more time.

Many people think they can’t forgive because that would mean going back to the same old way. Not at all.”

What do you think about what he says about forgiveness?

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