When I listen to the lyrics of the song, “You say it best when you say nothing at all” (shown below), it reminds me of the truth that much of our communication is non-verbal. I’m reminded that we say more with our body actions than we say with our mouths. And in my opinion, our hearts and motives are usually more congruent with what we do or how we act than what we say.

I’m reminded that I can say a lot more to the person in front of me by simply being fully present and listening empathically. It’s really true that we “say it best when we say nothing at all.”  I’m sure you realize that  saying nothing at all (i.e.verbally) doesn’t mean communicating nothing at all. We can say it best when we don’t say it verbally. We can say it best when we say it in other ways. When we say it without words. Perhaps the next time you talk to someone, you can focus on saying a lot more without words. Words have gotten cheap. Anyone can say something even without thinking. But I think it takes mastery and heart to communicate without words. And people instantly believe what is said without words because it’s more likely to be authentic and true.

Perhaps the next time you talk to someone, you can try to focus on saying a lot more with your actions and posture than with your words. Words have gotten cheap. Anyone can say something even without thinking. But I think it takes heart to communicate effectively without words. And people are dying to listen to your heart than your head. When a patient goes to see the doctor, one of the things the doctor, he always listens to the heart because what the heart says speaks a great deal about the patient’s health. I think patients are dying to listen to their doctor’s hearts than simply their heads. And people instantly believe what is said without words because it’s more likely to be authentic and true. 

Master ballet dancers, pianists, gymnasts, the professional sports person celebrating a win or mourning a loss. These are examples of people who say a lot without words and say it deeply. Anyone can do this. Try watching Tiger Woods celebrate watching a golf game with your TV muted. Or watch Serena Williams celebrate winning a tennis match with your TV muted. You will see that they communicate with you very effective both with their actions and emotions. Watch the animals and they will speak to you simply through their actions. Everybody knows how dogs behave vs. how cats. Anyone who has had both could write a speech that would fit each animal. Yet, it’s not because the cat or the dog have ever spoken to us. They say a lot by saying nothing. Watch the wild cat in the jungle and he will say a lot to you by saying nothing at all with his mouth, just his actions.

I truly think we say more and say it best when we say nothing at all verbally but much non-verbally.

If you want to communicate more effectively with your patient, boss, employee, teacher, mentor, friend, spouse, children, I think you’ll say it more impactfully and transformationally when you say nothing verbally and a lot non-verbally.

Here is the lyrics. Read it and let me know what you think:

It’s amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain,
What I hear when you don’t say a thing

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
there’s a truth in your eyes saying you’ll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you’ll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd
Old Mr. Webster could never define
what’s being said between your heart and mine

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There’s a truth in your eyes saying you’ll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you’ll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There’s a truth in your eyes saying you’ll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you’ll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

Songwriters: OVERSTREET, PAUL / SCHLITZ, DON

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