Passion is both something you discover and something you choose, just like a spouse. 

It’s Like Dating

There is no simple one-size-fits-all formula for finding one’s passion. Having said that, finding our passion isn’t supposed to be difficult. It’s simple, yet not easy. It’s so simple that everyone who searches deeply with a teachable heart will find their passion. But those who don’t look well don’t find their passion.  It may take a little time, even a few years of trying different things out, but if you do it wisely, you will soon find the right fit, your passion.

Finding your passion is like dating. It’s hard to find your perfect match without actually going out and dating different guys or girls and connecting with them. Yet, it doesn’t have to become an official date. You may need to have a friendly relationship with many different people and get to know them that way or you may officially date them. People do it differently. Like dating, your chances of discovering and choosing the right partner are better if you do some homework before you go out dating or at least while you are dating. Homework such as knowing yourself, your needs, what you want in a partner, how to understand people of the opposite sex, etc will be helpful before you go out dating. And a smart person will be evaluating potential partners to see if they match and have the kind of chemistry that they seek.

Only a foolish person will go out aimlessly dating tons and tons of partners without any sense of what they are looking for and without evaluating each date to see if they meet their criteria. As with a date, when you find your passion, you will fall in love with her. You will look for a ring, propose, get married. You will only live happily ever after if you did your homework and found the right partner. If not, you will soon discover that you made a terrible mistake and either divorce her or remain married in regret, always admiring other people.

If you married the right person, you will be happy spending time with her and she will give you fulfillment. You can spend the whole day with her and you won’t even feel it.

Your passion is the greatest love of your life. It’s your fascination for the season or your entire life.

It takes different people different lengths of time to find their life partner. A few people meet for the first time and within weeks, they get married and live together the rest of their lives. Some people take 10 years to find the right partner. And we know that the quality of the marriage isn’t determined solely by how long it took you to find your spouse. It’s not like those who took ten years will find the best match for them and those who took less than one year won’t. Yet, there is some wisdom in being patient, doing your homework, and investing time in choosing your spouse.

Before you become a doctor, nurse, lawyer, accountant, engineer, computer programmer, farmer, veterinarian, etc, it makes sense to volunteer and spend time with someone who does that kind of work. See how you feel about that line of work. When you are young and have no sense of what you want to do yet, get acquainted with many different fields available to you. There is only a finite number of fields, though, one can become creative with their shape to create something at the intersection of different fields.

In dating people, there are some guys or girls that when you meet in class, at a party, at church, just casually, you can quickly say they are not the kinds of people you want to marry. Many times, you will be right because after all, marriage is a choice. The same thing is true with careers/passions/ callings. If you are terrible with numbers and don’t have the personality of an accountant or computer programmer, it is fairly easy to rule that one out. You are not even attracted to these guys, not even the least.